


so... what are you wearing?

by writingdice



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 04:56:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16886013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingdice/pseuds/writingdice
Summary: Stan keeps getting weird phone calls and they are all from the same creep.





	so... what are you wearing?

“Mystery Shack, we put the fun in no refunds! This is Mr. Mystery, how may I help you?”, he asks with a cheerful voice and smiles even though he knows the person on the other side of the phone won’t be able to see it.

“Hi, there!”, answers a high-pitched voice, “I wonder if you have any child kidneys on preserve?”

The question takes him by surprise and it takes him a couple of seconds to react.

“Uh… what?”, Stan asks dumbfounded.

“You see, I need some child kidneys and it’s hard to get ‘em fresh for a—-”

Stan hangs up before the guy can finish explaining.

“Mystery Shack, we put the fun in no refunds! This is Mr. Mystery, how may I help you?”, Stan’s counting dollar bills on the front desk. It’s almost closing time and the gift shop is empty. 

Mabel and Dipper are outside, he can hear their laughter as they play with Soos and Wendy. Today had been a slow day for bussiness but it usually happened when the last days of summer came.

The door for the basement behind the vending machine opens and Ford comes out, nods politely at him as he passes on his way to the kitchen.

“Heya!”, the shrill of the familiar voice got him hissing and he has to hold the phone away from his ear and adjust the volume settings on his hearing aid. At his movements Ford pauses on his way and looks at him with curiosity.

“You again!”, Stan practically roars at the phone, customer service be damned.

“Oh! You remember me? I’m flattered”, the guy says with a teasing tone.

“Don’t call again”, Stan says as he hangs up again with a little bit of too much force from his frustration.

He suddenly remembers that Ford is still there when he clears his throat and looks at him with a raised eyebrow.

“…Who was that?”, Stan gets a little flustered at the ridicule of the situation.

“A creep”, he answers as he takes all the money he had been counting and puts it back on the cash register.

* * *

Honestly, Stan shouldn’t have been that surprised when he got a third call from the same guy. He should have seen it coming, creeps like him don’t have anything better to do than to annoy people on the phone.

“Mystery Shack, we put the fun in no refunds! Mr. Mystery—”

“Yeah, yeah, could we skip that bit today?”, Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and simply hung up.

And as soon as he did the phone started to ring again.

“Mystery Shack, we put–”

“The fun in no refunds, yeah, I get it. Geez, do you really do that for everyone who calls?”, as he sighed in defeat the guy let out a chuckle at his frustration.

“Whaddaya want?”, he finally asks as he leans on the counter and looks exasperated at nothing.

There’s a small pause and for a second Stanley thinks that maybe the guy had hung up until he says on a breathy voice…

“What are you wearing?”

He slams the phone down and ignores Mabel asking him if he was alright and why his face was all red.

* * *

The fourth time Ford had been on the same room as he answered the phone.

“Mystery Shack, we put the fun in no refunds”, he took a sip of his coffee, “this is Mr. Mystery speaking, how can I help you?”

“Hey, babe”, he groaned and took another sip as the guy started to laugh.

“Don’t call me that”, Stan said as he felt his face grow hot from the embarrassment, “I’m older than you”

“Yeah, right”, the guy snorts and at this Stanley raises an eyebrow as he continues to drink his coffee. There’s an awkward pause, as if the guy didn’t know what to say now that Stan wasn’t as frustrated with him.

“….Heh, well, gotta go!”, the guy says on a hurry as he hangs up on Stan.

Ford stares at him with a more open curiosity but when he looks at him he turns around and pretends that he wasn’t paying attention to his conversation.

* * *

The Shack is closed for the day, the kids are sleeping and Stan is alone sitting on his reclining chair and watching mindlessly the T.V. when the phone in the kitchen starts ringing.

He stands up with a groan as his bones ache and walks calmly to answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, babe, how was your day?”, he rolls his eyes and sits down at the kitchen table.

“Look, is this some sort of elaborate prank where you film all these calls and show ‘em to your friends so you can all laugh at the old man that keeps answering or something?”, Stan taps the table with his fingers as he waits for the guy to answer.

“Well?”, he asks again.

“….No”, Stan doesn’t believe the guy for a second, “Actually… I do want to know how was your day”, Stan is too old for this shit.

He sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose and leans back on the chair.

“Okay, pal. You asked for it”, and then he proceeds to ramble and complain about his day to a complete stranger that has been calling him for weeks.

* * *

After that night the guy calls every night to ask him about his day. Stanley doesn’t trust him or tells him anything really important, but he starts to look up to have someone to talk to every night.

Somehow he feels better at having another adult to talk with on a daily basis. Somehow it feels good to have someone fill in the empty space that his brother leaves with their tense interactions, it feels good to have relaxed conversations late at night with someone who doesn’t really knows him.

“You know, you’re not that bad of a guy”, he says one night as he drinks a Pitt Cola. He’s smiling and his whole body is relaxed.

“Could say the same about you”, Stan laughs as he takes another sip and looks at the clock on the wall. 00:30 AM. Well, he could keep talking for a little bit more.

“Hey, y’know, you never told me your name”, the guys says unexpectedly and Stan feels a little wary at the subject change.

“Well, it’s not like you really need to know it”, the guy barks out a high pitched laugh.

“You got me, yeah”, he says teasingly, “but it’s impolite to keep calling you and not know your actual name”

Stan bites his lower lip as he considers his options. He could tell this guy to fuck off and not to call again, he could give him a fake name (wouldn’t be the first time he had done that to someone) or…

“Okay”, he concedes, “but you have to tell me yours”

“You got yourself a deal, babe”

“The name’s Stanley Pines”

“Heya, Stan. The name’s Bill Cipher, nice to meet ya”


End file.
